Stuff

Jonathan Edwards is quite an extraordinary person. Though I am often guilty of idealizing people, turning them into a Person that their humanity is lost somewhere. What is amazing to see about him is how human he really was. So much talk of "The Puritans" and studying them has clouded the eyes of many, oft times forgetting they lived on the same earth as we.

Reading of Edwards' own depression, for instance, and his troubles with understanding God have brough much comfort to my life. The same man who delivered such powerful sermons as "Sinners in The Hands of An Angry God" and "The Excellencies of Christ" also endured agony with believing his conversion was real and genuine. The comfort I gain from that is two fold. Many of my friends were uneasy when I was wrestling with God. One in particular said it "freak them out" that I have struggled with "leaving Jesus." Initially I felt ashamed when they told me this. But after reading of Jonathan's own struggle I realized something. Its normal, if not even healthy, to not neglect doubt. I cannot imagine accepting it outright, no questions asked. Though I am aware of the passage "blessed are those who believe without seeing," can that be a rebuttal towards wanting the Bible's teachings to have some sort of reality? Let's assume, however dangerous it can be, that the Bible did say something you know for a fact is not true. How do we deal with it? I'm not saying whether a doctrine doesn't match with our view of truth, but rather says something 100% outright idiotic. Should we ignore it, just go on believing? I don't think so. There should be dilligent study into the matter. "Test all things"?

I do believe, however foolish some say it is, that the Bible does not do this. But there are times when it is murky, perhaps judging who wrote this Gospel or why is that epistle there? No shame is in my heart for bringing it to mind.

Perhaps this is why such study is needed, in my myriad of beliefs. There is a god. I'll say it with assurance not because the Bible says so but because its simply idiotic to believe otherwise. The world is so complex, so well put together to say "Yep, its all chance plus time." To add, it seems absurd that a being to create all of this, which seems to have such craftiness to it, would simply vanish, never speaking to us.

Thats where my reason based faith ends. Because, honestly, I was raised to accept the Bible and it was furthered once I became a Christian. So here I am, standing on it. Kinda shaky? I don't think so.