The Servant Said, "Master, I struggle to see you."

What I'm going through right now may push some away from me. Others perhaps will simply stop talking to me while a few will, hopefully, help me.

The title of this blog explains the current state I'm in. A little over a year ago my faith began to shake. With tiny rips and tears I finally had run out of answers. The questions originally came from others; now they come from me. Someone I love said this freaked them out, that there was doubt in my life.

It does me as well. My breathing was nearly doubled when this came upon me. And like a breathing problem, it cannot be cured by putting a bag over my head. Up until now I've covered it up and made the leap of faith, leaving any reason for believing behind.

I cannot do that. I don't believe Jesus would want me to either. Or does he? Thus begins the questions haunting me.

?Questions?

Why should I believe?
What are logical reasons to believe anything?
What questions are logical?
Is the faith we're to have a blind one, taken with nothing other than feelings as motivation?

Reasons for doubt

I don't know how to judge whether the bible is true.

Reasons to believe

I've been taught to my whole life
The world holds too many complex things to simply have come into being over time
I've recieved much joy and peace from it, not to mention countless others I've witnessed recieve the same.
The Bible actually seems consistent.

My own counters to my reasons (purely honest ones)

Simply put, being told to believe is no real reason.
Many people recieve joy from numerous things, how do I know Christianity isn't another one?
I've not read the entire Bible, so my belief on that is based from the portions I have plus testimonies of others.


So thats where I stand.