Lost (A preview or paraphrase of a much larger book or thoughts for 2007)

It is a wonder when a traveler loses his way. A glance to the left, a drink of coffee, bad directions, or simple ignorance; All these things can lead to his being lost.


In this world, the loss of focus on eternal things (ie the kingdom of God) is often muddled in squabblings of religion, fight for 'liberty', politics, or some vague sense of duty. Given what I've often said to my friends it is obvious I see the logic and value of speaking with men and women of other religions, I often practice quite liberal Christian life, and attempt some sort of dutiful living. So I'm not coming from some high and lofty position or being an arrogant prick.

I also know that apathy (read: rebellion) has been attributed by the second mentioned point of muddleness: "liberty." Still reacting violently against my former life of "Lists! lists! lists!" I often will do something with a sense of pride because I can quote the subverse, "All things are lawful for me," forgeting there is a comma, not a period.

So lately I've been in the position of wrestling with my own life. Not to discourage the reader let me note my life has not been some sort of Israel-esque fall. Rather there are just many things our Dad has been teaching me - namely that each waking hour is an offering to him. It is too easy for each day to slowly (or quickly) pass a person by with no meaning, no thought - a dismal stretch mark against the backdrop of eternity.

I often scoff at much of traditionalism - but not what the tradition is founded on (assuming it's something good, right?) When a stuffy man stands up and says, "Lord Jesus, we entreat thee to come into our lives and transform it by the pow'r of your word" there is no disagreement because I'd rather say it, "Jesus, brother, reach into this mess of ours and shake us out of this daydream we are in..." But...so often, I become a self-righteous prick, struggling to forgive, look pass, and love as I am called.

I was once asked what I fear. The answer came quickly and with little thinking: To become worthless.
Wortheless to brothers, sisters, family, those around me, to society (thought I don't do much now), and as a human.


Now something often on my mind (though not solitarily) is this relationship I'm in. Quite astonishing if I'm asked, there is much new of it as compared to those gals in the past I've known. It would take a blog post and a half to tell of us....but there is much of God's planning (I believe) all around it.


------

Thanks for entertaining my thoughts. Forgive any mispellings. Late night plus two beers make me tired.

Love you.